A Personal Quest: Keep Dmitri Young and Kevin Millar in the area!

First of all, let me just say for the record (and for your convenience) that there are a couple places I go for trade rumors, and no, MLBtraderumors.com is not one of them:

Ben Maller's MLB Rumors page on Fox Sports.

Yahoo! Sports MLB Rumors.

That should be enough to keep you occupied for 20 minutes at work. On to the good stuff...

The Washington Post passively mentioned that Dmitri Young could be traded to a contender if the price is right.

Meanwhile, The Sun says what we already know, that Kevin Millar is "one of the Orioles most marketable players" (that they might be willing to part with, at least).

These trades simply cannot happen.

Image from MLB.com.

Young has to stick around, if only because he has the best screen name in The Dugout: SteakGrowsOnDmitri. That and If_Anything_I_Could_ Say_That_This_Cabrera are the only two on the site that I actually replace the player's real name with in my mind.

Also, when resident crazy man Jose Guillen was not re-signed by the Nationals after the 2006 season, I was so disappointed. Who else was going to call another team's manager "a piece of garbage"? Enter Dmitri Young.

Like Guillen, Young is a reclamation project who was given an unconditional release by his former employer. But Young is even crazier than Guillen. And he was an All-Star this year!

Image from washingtonpost.com.

Besides his .390+ OPS, Millar cannot be traded because, as SC at Camden Chat said, "Millar is kind of like the Rally Monkey, only he's a player on the team."

And because there's a corny between-innings video that they show at Camden Yards where O's players pick the best singer on the team, and after the majority vote goes to Millar, the video shows him in Benito Santiago shades going "DA NA NA NA NA NA DOCTOR FEEL GOOD!!!!!!"

And who can forget the Ray Lewis dance?

That's worth the price of admission right there.