But hold on, first some stuff...
For about the 10th time since the Capitals introduced their current color scheme and logos 11 years ago, there are rumors that the Caps are headed back to red, white and blue uniforms. I'll believe it when I see it. I liked the old uniforms, but they were very '70s looking with the reverse italic lowercase lettering and the hockey stick to make the 't'. Supposedly the new jerseys would keep the dome logo but change it to match the new colors. I like that idea, but I'm kind of sad that I just got an Ovechkin jersey about 2/3 of the way through last season and it could already be out of date.
Javy Lopez and his whining have been sent to beantown, where I'm sure he'll chipper right up and be extremely happy to crush the Orioles in all future meetings this season. The O's sent Lopez and cash to the Sox for a player to be named later, who is rumored to be 26-year-old AAA outfielder Adam Stern. The hitch in the deal is that the BoSox are worried about sending Stern through waivers for fear that the Devil Rays will claim him in retaliation for what they perceive as Red Sox tampering with shortsop Julio Lugo by contacting him before the trade deadline about potentially moving to second base and signing a contract extension. (That was a really long sentence...) The end result is likely that the O's won't get Stern until after the season is over. Darn... What a crushing blow to the team's playoff hopes...
So that's the news, and here's the quotes:
Camden Chat commenter Johnny Action on Orioles rookie right fielder Nick Markakis' nickname, "Kakes":
"Cake is bad for you. Markakis clearly is not. I've been rooting hard for the guy, but now that it looks like he's got a future on next year's team, we absolutely MUST come up with a better nickname.Also nominated were "Nick at Night" and the very Baltimore-appropriate, "Crab-kakis."
I respectfully nominate:
-- Camden Chat, August 2
JP of Japers' Rink on a recent Capitals signing reported on a Czech Web site:
"Translation [from Czech Web site]: 'Petr Taticek, who should probably be off herding goats in Moravia, has signed with the Caps' (apologies - my Czech is a little rusty).By the way, if you are a Caps fan (and an NHL fan in general), Japers' Rink is pretty much the must-read blog for good info and frequent, quality posts. JP does a great job with it.
You might recall Taticek as a Florida Panther farmhand. More likely you don't recall him at all."
-- Japers' Rink, August 1
The Baltimore Sun's Roch Kubatko always makes the list, so here he is commenting on a Brooks Robinson bobblehead promotion:
"Anyone giving blood at the union hall from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. or the Maryland Athletic Club in Timonium from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. will receive a bobblehead and two tickets to the Aug. 27 game against Tampa Bay.I've still got my Brian Roberts bobblehead certificates, by the way. I'd rather have the erronious bobblehead...
Giving blood will be a lot less painful.
I've seen the bobblehead. It doesn't exactly bear an uncanny resemblance to Brooks, but at least it doesn't look like Frank."
-- Roch Around the Clock, August 1
Camden Chat commenter dayzd toe on the Orioles "veteran presence":
"Is Coninasaurus Jeff in the lineup tonight?"
-- Camden Chat, August 2
And as an extra bonus, since this week's trade talks apparently meant it was open season on wordplay, here's THE CORNY AWARDS OF THE WEEK:
BallWonk on the lack of an Alfonso Soriano trade:
"'Alfonso? Sorry, ah, No.'
Or so said Trader Jim [Bowden] to his many suitors today."
-- BallWonk, July 31
And Roch gets himself a (dis)honorable mention with this pun about the Javy Lopez situation:
"There's always room for J-Lo."
-- Roch Around the Clock, August 3
Now that you've got a headache from rolling your eyes so hard, have a good weekend!
And as always, if you see anything hilarious on a blog or message board about local sports, e-mail me with the quote and a link at email@example.com. Feel free to send knee-slappers you've posted yourself, you shameless self-promoters!