In last night's as-thrilling-as-a-mid-April-game-can-be comeback win over the Devil Rays, Orioles reliever Jim Brower came on with two outs in the eighth inning with Jorge Cantu on second and the O's trailing 4-3, and he promptly gave up a run-scoring single to Jonny Gomes. Then the single best catcher in the history of the game (we don't do hyperbole here), Ramon Hernandez, gunned down Gomes trying to steal second to end the inning.
The run was charged to Chen, so Brower's line read 0.1 innings, 1 hit, 0 earned runs. (Sadly, this dropped his ERA from 11.81 to 11.12.) And he was the pitcher of record when Melvin Mora crushed all the Devil Rays' hopes and dreams with a two-out two-run homer in the top of the ninth to give the O's a 6-5 lead. So he should get the win, right?
And why not? Because he sucked.
Seriously. That's the rule. He sucked, so he didn't get the win. Maybe that's not how it's written in the rule book, but that's the abridged version for sure.
The official scorer enacted Rule 10.19c(4), which states: "Do not credit a victory to a relief pitcher who is ineffective in a brief appearance."
So the win goes to Chris Ray because he came in and pitched a three-up, three-down ninth inning, for which he normally would have been awarded a save.
What does that say about Brower? B.J. Ryan got a win in 2003 without ever throwing a pitch! He came in with two outs, picked off a runner, and the O's got the game winning run the next inning. Brower at least threw pitches. The difference is that B.J. was nails, and Brower sucks donkeys. His best outing of the season was one in which he didn't do anything to get the one out he got and the run he gave up was tacked onto someone else's ERA. THAT's how bad he sucks.
The real victim here isn't Brower, though, it's the charity that gets $1,000 every time an Orioles pitcher records a save. No save for Ray, no charity moneys. That Tampa scorer is a heartless bastard, I tell ya.
But it is nice to know that baseball has a very official rule for "you suck."
- Big ups to Alex Ovechkin for netting his 50th goal with a one-time slapshot in the first period last night against Atlanta. He's only the second rookie to score 50 goals and 100 points in the same season. And he's the first hockey player ever to be given "big ups" for an accomplishment.
- George Mason (yeah I said I wouldn't talk about them anymore) big man Jai Lewis is looking at the NFL as "plan A." Apparently teams are interested. Someone please explain to me how performing well in the NCAA basketball tournament translated to NFL interest.
*"El terriblé" quote stolen from Family Guy. But you knew that.