If I were a columnist for a major media organization, this is where I would make a joke about how the troglodytes known as hockey fans will be stuck endlessly flipping through the channels searching for the elusive Versus network so they can watch the NHL SuperSkills Competition and YoungStars Game tonight, and if they're lucky they might find it around when the puck drops for Wednesday night's All-Star Game.
But since I'm one of those alleged troglodytes and I take in more than the occasional NHL game, I know that Versus is channel 28 on Howard County Comcast. If you're a hockey fan and somehow you don't know what channel Versus is where you are, you can find out quickly by entering your ZIP code here.
I'm such a shill.
Representing the Washington Capitals tonight in Dallas will be Alexander Ovechkin in the SuperSkills Competition (and the All-Star Game tomorrow) and defenseman Mike Green in the YoungStars Game.
And in honor of these events, I'll be capitalizing and compounding ExtraWords because it's UltraCool.
First up tonight is the YoungStars Game, slated for 7:30 and only lasting an hour. Don't ask about the format because I have no idea.
At 8:30 the real all-stars will take the ice for the SuperSkills Competition. Ovechkin will be competing in the fastest skater, breakaway and "in the zone" competitions.
Apparently the "in the zone" competition involves three players who are positioned in the zone (one at the blue line, one in each face off circle), and they have to pass the puck twice before shooting on the goalie.
If you can somehow find Versus, which is apparently the Salman Rushdie of cable channels, the skills competition is usually more fun to watch than the actual All-Star Game.